Caught with your pants down!!!

Shhhhhh! don't sweat it!! Keep calm and listen....

Omoh!! This my past week has probably been the most stressful for me this year!! In terms of the kids, planning my granny's 80th and Lagos stress!! I even broke down!! If you see the fever rash that has broken out on my lips ehn!!eeeeuuuuww!! Thank God for super coloured lip glosses!!

I know you all are gonna say.....Ebun!! na only una dey this life!! One party or the other!! My people na so we see am for this month of June oo....hian!! We feel am in all areas even for our pockets....but how man go do na. A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do!! And the truth is if you are from a large and functional family like mine, then you'll probably need to be out of the house every other Saturday!! And what that means is being constantly exposed to a lot of "bad" food for your already bulging waist lines!!

So really if you are in this situation most of the time, then even your 'treats' need to have a time table else you will be gorging down lard laden cakes, fried and oily appetisers and fizzy drinks waaaaay too often!! Then you can as well invest in a clothier that would be bringing the next dress sz to you every one to two months!! YES!! Most of us have outgrown the clothes we wear and they are so fitted its like second skin. I always try to suppress a wicked giggle when i am in a conversation and we are talking dress sizes and some ladies will be claiming a particular size made with chiffon or lycra because they can fit into it!! The best outfits that would give you your correct dress size are cotton shirts and pants. For example, i am a perfect Uk 10 up and in between 12 and 14 down as 14 will fall but 12 i can wear but will be soooo snug....hence why i say big 12. As if the 12 will strecth a little i am good to go. But this same me has a lot of size uk 6 and 8 tops that fit due to the cut and fabric. It would be foolhardy of me to say i wear size 8!!!

In this picture i am wearing a sz uk 6 tank top!! Does that make me a sz 6!!

So what can you really do if you need to socialise like practically every weekend......and you are constantly faced with all of that "temptation"?.....hence CAUGHT WITH YOUR PANTS WAAAAAAY BELOW YOUR KNEES!! Oya bring out those note pads.........:P

• Before you leave the house....EAT! Whatever you have come up with at home that has put into consideration your health and your waistline. Its funny people actually go to events on an empty tummy!! Why would you choose to shoot yourself in the leg? Aside you gorging and having almost no control.....what if the food comes late or never comes? You"ll now be cranky and swearing for the party planners!! My mum taught us to ALWAYS eat before going for events mostly because of the fact that the food might never get to you.....and i have sooo emulated that even with my kids!!
• When you get to the event.....pass on the small chops as its soaked in oil.... and if at all take only the grilled chicken.....try to remove the skin! The Chapman is a big no no too!!

                                      

 

 

• Ask the waiters for an overview of the options available......and DO NOT DECEIVE YOURSELF. Make the best choice available to you putting into consideration the portion and oily level!
• Drink WATER!!! If you are lucky and there is cranberry juice.....a glass is just fine. If you are an alchy fan...red wine is your best bet. Not the whole bottle......a glass plix!

                                                          

• Try to pass on the desserts. We all know what is in them. And even if you have to and your self control is at rock bottom....share the plate with someone or people!
• Go and boogie down!

If you follow this through, i promise you a life time of health and a trim waist line......its a lifestyle peeps!

I have gotta run.....i have an 80th party to see to. Femi (my sister) has been nagging me to get off the computer!!...In her words..."babe must you do a write up today?"....My response...."Its a commitment"

              S.P.A......................Support Plan Accountability

RESPECT!!!!....but we need to earn it HUNS!!

Hi people!!!

I trust we all had an awesome week! By awesome i mean the GRACE to weather the crazy traffic,  annoying road marshals, overbearing bosses, nosy friends, some demanding family members and still eat healthy! :D. On that note i had an awesome week + my toddler's fever and crankiness but what even made mine more awesome is the results my F.i.t.T.r.i.x clients are getting!!.....Pure Fulfilment!!I LOVE MY JOB!! I HAVE FOUND MY MINISTRY!

Meanwhile my sister's  momimo went very very well, she was stunning!!! I have begggged her to allow me put her picture up! Love you hun!!

The cake was blah though!!OMG! It was the worst ever in look and presentation and taste...I had to be innovative( thank God for my MTN experience where innovation is the watch word) and tie a bow with chiffon around the excuse!! I thought we would feel better when we cut it up......viola!! pink velvet and choco milo!! Where did all the moist go!! I almost beat myself up for placing that order in the first place since i kuku tell people to avoid eating such. But its always BETTER to look at the silver lining in every grey cloud....at least no one was keen on eating it!! yaaaaaaay!

Today i want to give us all a break from food!...Lets talk about another favourite topic of mine.....FASHION!! I loooove dressing up and shoes are absolutely my weakest point! My best combo -  figure fitted but covered ensemble in fab fab shoes and nude make up but with some blush, sunglasses and my natural hair in all its glory:D. But errrrrrrrrrm i will not be talking about me.

My eyes kept getting assaulted the whole week.Everywhere i went i kept seeing fashion No Nos, from peaking tummy's to bulging ones in very tight tops (and they were not pregnant) to weird cleavages and really dark eye brows!! I honestly do not understand why a "fleshy" lady with a huge mid riff will indulge in Lycra whether as a top or pants? OR would wear see through chiffon top or dresses? Like seriously?The flab ain't appealing...trust me!

                                                     

When you start to love your body, then you will want to treat it right and dress it right. Fine, we are at that point we want to start gearing up for a new fab and trim body.....but whilst we are still in this body, lets treat it right and not make it the laughing stock of the town. I know when a lot of us look in the mirror, we see what we want to see.....the exotic Peruvian hair falling over your shoulders and the perfect MAC finish and the rouge lips that has given us the perfect pout and that exquisite LV tote! We think that's about all of it! Una lie pass Nwosu! All that fabulosity doesn't cover the bulging tummies or cellulite bumps showing through those Lycra pants or the christian mother arms!!

Bottom line is dress according to your body type to bring out your best assets......at least till you can get away with wearing almost anything.

•  If you have a huge tummy please wear styles that cover them up nice and do not attempt to tuck your shirts in....plix!
•  If you have huge laps....nice fitted pencil skirts coming at a little bit below the knees would make you look trimmer.
• If you have huge arms, ditch the baby cap sleeves and sleeveless tops! Wear 3/4 sleeves more.
• If you are top heavy, droop necks and Lycra are a no no.
• If you are on the round-all-generous-big side one bold dark colour is best and you can accentuate with a touch of bright jazzy colour. Wear clothes that point to your good sides and not scream...I AM FAT!

I am getting sick of the male folk making fun of us when we saunter by.....we are a  stronger and more beautiful specie, so they should marvel and be in awe of God's awesomeness and not make a mockery of us!! At the bank on Tuesday i watched a fellow woman being reduced to nothing all because of her wrong choice in baffs! She was like a Uk 16 but had a really big tummy and decided to wear a dress at least 2 dresses smaller and it was Lycra!!! whyyyyyyy? She looked stuffed to be honest and though she had on a nice weave and her nails and make up on point...she looked like she was trying too hard! So some bored dudes waiting to get a cheque cleared decided to use her to pass the time!! Oh the horror!! Vile things came out of their mouths and i couldn't take it anymore as i was sooo sure she could hear them. On my way out (of course waited to tell them my mind on my way out- wisdom!!!) i told them both that it shows they don't have respect for women to run her down like that....and we would see their hot wives soon in a few years after 2 kids!!ptcheeeeuuuuww!   GIRL POWER!

Hello!!! a belt in this case is worn to show off a waist and not point to the fact that your tummy is huge!! She would have looked sharper and trimmer in a free tank top ,a boy friend jacket on it and a pair of fitted jeans as she has relatively slim limbs for her size.

Me and my girl JODIE( i loove her and her music....pure talent) at the WOWE @ Eko hotel last week. Though i have lost tons of weight but my hips have refused to lie completely so i still need to dress it aptly!!

Ladies feeling and looking great starts both from the inside and the outside......Lets learn to feed our bodies right (good food), dress aptly and feed our souls too. There's nothing more ridiculous than a woman who feels she is sexy but is inappropriately clad and is bouncing all over the place instead of just sitting down and sipping on mineral water!!!!!hian

 

 

S.P.A.......Support Plan Accountability

The step in the right direction....

Ok this week has been craaaaazy!! Aside the usual hustle bustle of our metropolitan city.......taking care of the kids....house keeping....F.i.t.T.r.i.x, my young and budding company....we had to plan my younger sister's introduction which is later on today. In the beginning it was just meant to be a normal momimo, family meet family formally and probably agree on the wedding date etc, but then i dunno o....it has become almost like an engagement ceremony!!! Ha sweet mummy of life!!!! And amidst all the happy chaos and excitement....i have been scoping my sister....Nushy baby...the bride to be....and i cant help but notice how hawwwwwt she is. Fantastic Uk 8/10 curvy body, super flat tummy,great skin...(anu no let your head burst o)......a lot of women where once like that!
 
You walked down that aisle all fit and fab....full of vigour and emitting radiance.....but then once the i do's have been said.....fast forward a few months, even without being pregnant, some bulges start to appear in places you never even knew existed. Why? What really is the ish? Birth control pills abi, like i am sure some of us will already be thinking to ourselves now.......but i beg to differ!!

Don't get me wrong, birth control pills are one of the major culprits of weight gain and of course the almighty pregnancy and kids for most of us. But some people have been using these pills already on the steady even while dating these same men they are married to now, and doing these same sedentary jobs and didn't add any weight...so what really changed?
 
FREEDOM and "FREEWILL" happened. When you were still with your folks or uncles, you lived by their "rules" and the kitchen wasn't left out. You probably wouldn't just open their pot of soup, and take all their meat and snail with your meal in one sitting or just gorge on all fruit juices in the fridge all in the bid to "respect" yourself. Now you are your own boss! You can go shopping, make a pot of stew and decide that you are in the mood for meat and consume half that pot at a sitting!! Or whilst watching a movie decide that all the blue bunny in the freezer is the bestest companion for that romantic comedy! Or decide you are in the mood for asun and get a whole goat grilled so that you can use it as your reading companion. No one will kuku question you!! You are your own boss!!
                                                                               

 

 

  

Or because we feel the need to pamper our husbands, we flood them with bowls and bowls of food to show that our mothers taught us and we learnt well!! Biko show them love by feeding them right so that they are healthy and can live long with you.

But hey!! your health will question you...your clothes will question you.....your conscience will question you. Lets not because we now earn a good living and are now independent, now throw away discipline and self control. Even the bible says love thy neighbour as thy self - meaning you need to love yourself FIRST. And trust me,eating right and being healthy is a step in the right direction! And as i have said again and again, weight loss is only ONE of the benefits of wellness.

I need to hit the sheets....its 2:11am...and we have a mini big day tomorrow!!*yawn*

At F.i.t.T.r.i.x.....where wellness meets fabulosity....you learn to eat right and via Support Plan Accountability create a sustainable system that becomes a lifestyle for you.

Dont deceive yourself with all that lepa talk!!!! Its hogwash!

Yep!
 
And I will tell you why in a bit!
 
First of all, I did get my car back on Monday evening and it was with a lot of mixed feelings!! Not sure why??:P.....well maybe because I had already started imagining my self in the shiny black Evoque and its pink leather interiors!!!......I STILL BELIEVE!! But as an observation and hoping BRF gets to see this soon....."Boss you are really doing a good job in Lagos State but the fines are too high and the process of getting it done is very disorganized and unnecessarily backward!! This is 2013 and we really should move with the times. And as a suggestion you can put in community service instead of money depending on the individuals. For crying out loud 50,000 naira for me wasn't funny at all, but it was like a death sentence for most of the other people. There was a man in particular who had to put down the money he had saved up for weeks for his mother's medical bill...he was devastated and in a lot of pain!"
 
Though I can go on and on and on...(my Gani spirit is awake)...lets just get on with looking and feeling great!

So I got a comment on my last write up about being lepa so can get away with bad food "for now"......o ma se o. Haven't we noticed that most of the orobos of today were once the lepas of yesterday? By the way orobo in my dictionary is anyone who is from a uk 16 and above. Sz 14s are baby orobos.  There are the very set orobos ( those that still have some sort of a waistline) and the generous orobos ( those who are "glorious" all round) So what happened? What happened to that lepacious form? Fit sculpted bellies and taut hips? Did they really start to eat 3 times what they were eating before? or they decided to only drink from the chocolate fountain? ( its kuku some sort of fountain)

In their defense I would say life happened. Hormones changed, mostly triggered by birth control pills OR pregnancy OR breastfeeding OR lack of activity( demanding 6-9 jobs with only mental activity) OR a combo of the 4. Before as students you are not watching what is oily or avoiding what doesn't have enough nutrients. "Biko gimme food make I wack go lecture". And you would most likely walk all of the distance to class or at least 50% and this was on the daily. Then the party rockers will still baff up at night and go and dance for hours......meeehhhhhhhn!! that's a whole lot exercise without realizing it.

But in my opinion you should thank God you are fat!!!! I know some people are going to go.....Ebun!!! are you kidding me? That just shows that at least one of the 4 I mentioned above has hit you, meaning you are growing and achieving milestones...teeheehee. But on a serious note, if you are fat, its an obvious report card of what's going on internally....which you obviously don't like, and if you love your self and the people around you, you want to do something about it ASAP!!In the process of now trying to get rid of all that excess weight, the proper way that is- proper meal plan and exercise, you address other issues you probably didn't know you had or was pending.....hence TOTAL WELLNESS.
             My report card I hated and needed to correct!!!

Me in Feb 2013 at another SIL wedding at sz small 12/small 14......maybe a B+ (counting from where I am coming from)

 

 

 







Me very recently at 10 up big 12 down.......on my way to A+


Weight loss is just ONE of the benefits of total wellness.....being lepa doesn't necessarily mean you are healthy!! (sorry to burst your bubbles hun). I see a lot of lepas who would pant and gasp for breathe after climbing up a few flights of stairs!! Like seriously?? Honey, you need to work that heart and lungs!! Or they are lepas but I still see a considerably big tummy!!at least for their size! Did you know that the WORST type of fat is the belly fat? Simply because your most vital organs are around that region i.e. kidney, liver, lungs and the heart and the fat just clogs their space. And we all know what happens when someone you don't like is in your space.....you get cranky and could explode with anger....a matter of time!! The healthiest lepas around are most likely those who have had a journey....from orobo to lepa or those who don't want to end up like an uncle or a parent due to an hereditary disease, so they are helping themselves by doing the right things.

Imagine all that fat getting bigger and bigger!!      DANGER

     


PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE PEOPLE!!!!

Old habits die hard. So even if you are lepa now.....please eat right...treat treats as such and execrcise...so that when any of the above 4 hit you, the effect wont be bad and you'll also be ready and already used to a certain lifestyle and it wont feel like punishment!

At F.i.t.T.r.i.x........wellness meets fabulosity. Its about looking and ALSO feeling great. And to feel great, you need to be healthy....



                                S.P.A.........Support Plan Accountability

JUST DO IT!!! datz all!!

Hey people, F.i.t.T.r.i.x here again and TODAY I'm here to tell you all about what is undoubtedly the absolute WORST food of all time. Is it Chocolate? Maybe French fries? Biscuits and gravy? Soft drinks stuffed with high fructose corn syrup and sweeteners? Lard? Cheese-stuffed crust on a meat lovers pizza? Ghana high oily pepper rice? Ice-cream?
Hmm... although all of these foods are at the top of my "bad" list, they aren't the WORST.

                                                                  

                                                          

                                                                                        

Before I tell you guys, biko I need to rant small!

The last few days have been the most annoying, frustrating, mentally tiring and physically tasking days of my life in a VERY VERY long time! I am not going to come and claim I am a saint and don't make mistakes. I made one on Wednesday and it apparently was "THE BIG MISTAKE"

Ok, I had to quickly get to the shopping mall and on getting to the ground floor car park, it was full....and I have this phobia for climbing the drive way heading to the next level. I know...laugh at me!! I had almost fallen off it sometime ago so I now jejely went back outside to park (which I had never done before, because frankly its waaay more convenient wheeling your trolley into the car park) It seemed ok I guess maybe because there were a lot of cars there too and someone directing as well. And I also felt like in other civilized countries, such "rules" are relaxed on public holidays and ours was even democracy day!! etc. Well fast forward to about 2 hours later I came out to see like 20 lasthma officials and another 20 mopos, 4 towing trucks and like 3 jeeps!!! Hian!!! My first thought was to be the lady in distress and wail and tell them a cock and bull story...but I thought otherwise...WWJD(what will Jesus do).

So I just told their commanding officer what really happened and he couldn't care less...so I just said no need to tow my car...I will drive it to your office. One lasthma official shouted "ha oga, no allow this woman drive oo" Well I'm guessing because I looked all sporty in my Adidas gear so he felt I could take off! I was allowed to drive but with an excuse of an official in my passenger seat. The dude fidgeted through out. I'm not sure why...maybe he wanted me to offer him "something" or was worried I would drive off with him in my car and take him to an unknown place and throw him out! huahuahuahuahuahua (though that doesn't sound like a bad idea now considering what I have been through the last few days!

We got there and I had to clear out my stuff from the car, as they said they can't do anything till the commanding officer comes back from the field. So amidst fury and tears I flagged down a keke napep, as no taxi in sight, and went home. Thursday saw a 50,000 naira ticket aside demurrages and another 5,000 for query. Driving tests, eye tests , tax clearance etc. The car would have come out yesterday but the last signing official was no where to be found. So I'm carless the whole weekend (now wishing I probably shouldn't have sold my other car)....all my plans dashed!! 

Me I am just waiting patiently to get there on Monday and I will hear one story of something happening to the car or its stolen( which happened to someone I know not too long ago).....errrrm I don't think I will remember WWJD. It is just a wonderful opportunity to trade in my Honda for a shiny black tear rubber Evoque, with pink leather interiors and F.i.t.T.r.i.x as the plate number!!! Datz all!!

So back to The Worst Food Ever is ... ..........*drum roll please* ... ANY FOOD YOU JUST CANT STOP EATING OR DRINKING!!!!!.(That's so important so take a moment to read that sentence again.) I'm talking about your personal "trigger foods." You know, that one food that you'll eat until you make yourself sick.

For me it's Irish cream and ice cream - Blue Bunny cookies and cream. There was a time you would always find it in my house, the family bucket size! If its around me I WILL buckle!!....For others it's chocolate or something crunchy and salty like chips or just your regular coke!



                      


If it's in my house ... I'll come up with dozens of excuses on why it's okay to take it. "I'll workout extra hard tomorrow." Or, "I ate really healthy today so it's okay to cheat." Or, "I don't care ... give me that darn ice cream scooper!" =)

The key to getting (and keeping a flat belly) is recognizing these trigger foods and keeping them OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.

Really people..... This tip alone can save you thousands of calories and fat every week. And you can now see them as treats and learn to take them asuch.

So today's take home message is this: Make a list of your top three trigger foods and "send them packing'."...to the left to the left....

Deal? I hope so.

Like the popular NIKE ad......JUST DO IT!!!!

At F.i.t.T.r.i.x...... where wellness meets fabulosity....we help you take control of your life and start again.

                            S.P.A........Support Plan Accountability